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La
Libreria propone sul
tema
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The
Divorce Mediation Answer Book : Save Time, Money, and Emotional Energy
With a Mediated Separation or Divorce
by Dolores Deane Walker, Carol A. Butler
In
this accessible question-and-answer guide, two experts address the many
issues involved with mediated separation or divorce, from finding the
mediator and dealing with emotions to discussing custody arrangements
and figuring out financial terms.
Ordina...
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Why
Marriges Succed or Fail
by John Gottman
Ph. D
From
psychology professor (Univ. of Washington) and marriage researcher Gottman:
an upbeat, easy-to-follow manual based on research into the dynamics of
married couples. Gottman describes his studies as being akin to a CAT
scan of a living relationship and asserts that he's been able to predict
the future of marriages with an accuracy rate of over 90 percent. In 1983
and 1986, his research team monitored more than a hundred married couples
in Indiana and Illinois with electrodes, video cameras, and microphones
as they attempted to work out real conflicts. Using the information derived
from these sessions, Gottman concludes here that a lasting relationship
results from a couple's ability to resolve conflicts through any of the
three styles of problem-solving that are found in healthy marriages- -validating,
conflict-avoiding, and volatile. Numerous self-quizzes help couples determine
the style that best suits them. Gottman points out, however, that couples
whose interactions are marked by four characteristics--criticism, contempt,
defensiveness, and withdrawal--are in trouble, and he includes self-tests
for diagnosing these destructive tactics, as well as steps for countering
them. Interestingly, Gottman asserts that the basis of a stable marriage
can be expressed mathematically: the ratio of positive to negative moments
must be at least 5:1--and he offers a four-step program for breaking through
negativity and allowing one's natural communication and problem-solving
abilities to flourish. Mathematics and science aside, there's plenty of
old- fashioned, helpful, and worthwhile advice here about gender differences,
realistic expectations, love, and respect--advice that may appeal especially
to those who enjoy taking quizzes and analyzing relationships.
Ordina...
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Mediating
Child Custody Disputes : A Strategic Approach
by Donald T. Saposnek
Table of
Contents Preface PART ONE Perspectives on Child Custody Mediation 1. Mediation
as a Cooperative Problem-Solving Approach 2. The Needs of Children Through
Divorce 3. Attitudes and Skills Needed for Effective Mediation 4. The
Strategic Approach: Aikido as a Model for Mediation PART TWO Structuring
the Mediation Process 5. Beginning Mediation: Setting the Context for
Negotiations 6. Phases of Mediation: From Gathering Information to Reaching
Agreements 7. Drafting the Mediation Agreement PART THREE Strategies Used
by Children, Parents, and Mediators 8. How Children Contribute to Custody
Disputes 9. Parents' Motives and Methods in Custody Disputes 10. Strategies
for Eliciting Cooperation Between Parents 11. Skills and Techniques for
Managing Conflict PART FOUR Two Case Studies 12. Case Study 1: A Less
Complex Case 13. Case Study 2: A More Complex Case PART FIVE Challenges
and Professional Issues 14. Special Circumstances Affecting Mediation
15. Ethics, Values, and Morals in Mediation 16. Making Mediation Work:
Recommendations for Mediators, Attorneys, and Judges Appendix A. Uniform
Standards of Practice for Court-Connected Child Custody Mediation for
the State of California Appendix B. Academy of Family Mediators Standards
of Practice for Family and Divorce Mediation Appendix C. Confidentiality
Forms Appendix D. Preempting Statement Categories for Commencing Child
Custody Mediation Appendix E. Strategies Used by Spouses, Children, and
Mediators Appendix F. Sample Mediation Agreements References The Author
Index
Ordina...
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The
Daddy Guide : Real-Life Advice and Tips from over 250 Dads and Other Experts
by
Kevin Nelson
From being in the delivery room at birth to saving for
a child's education, "The Daddy Guide" is jam-packed with useful information
on all aspects of the challenging and rewarding experience of fatherhood.
Ordina
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MEDIATION
AND PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME Considerations for an Intervention Model
by
Anita Vestal
in FAMILY AND CONCILIATION COURTS REVIEW, Vol. 37, No.
4, October, 1999, p. 487-503
Parental alienation syndrome (PAS), a term that originated in the mid-1980s,
refers to a disturbance in which children are preoccupied with viewing
one parent as all good and the other parent as all bad. Conscious or unconscious
words and actions of custodial parents cause the child(ren) to align with
them in rejection of noncustodial parents during divorce or custody disputes.
Issues of concern for mediators include detection of PAS and an understanding
of appropriate remedial plans that will allow the child to restore his
or her relationship with the noncustodial parent.
An area of growing demand and concern for family mediators is in the minefields
of child custody litigation. With no-fault divorce, and a standard for
determining custody in light of the child's best interests, judges are
besieged with a backlog of disputed custody cases without clear and concrete
guidelines to follow in deciding whether to favor the mother or the father.
Many experts in family law--from both the legal and mental health arenas-have
observed an increase in deceptive and manipulative tactics used by divorcing
couples. This article looks at parental alienation syndrome (PAS), which
is a complex manifestation of mental and emotional abuse resulting from
conflicted parents fighting for custody. Recommendations are given for
a model that could be employed by family mediators to ensure that families
suffering from PAS receive prompt and effective intervention.
MEDIATION IN CHILD CUSTODY DISPUTES--HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVES
The surge in divorce rates during the past two decades, along with major
judicial reforms since the 1970s, has led to several significant changes
in the ways that courts handle family law cases. Divorce and custody laws
have been widely revised by states, and alternatives to litigation have
emerged and gained prominence. Mediation has become a popular option,
and in many states, mediation is mandatory for divorcing couples. Judicial
systems in California, Minnesota, and Wisconsin were early experimenters
with the concept of conciliation courts, where parents were encouraged
to work out divorce and custody conflicts. In the past two decades, many
states have introduced mandatory mediation of contested child custody.
There has been research that supports mediation as a positive intervention
in custody disputes. Studies of custody cases in several large cities
report that over one half (between 50% and 90%) of the cases are settled
through mediation (Atkinson 1996). A large empirical evaluation of mediation
services in three court-based programs showed generally high levels of
user satisfaction according to the researchers (Pearson and Thoennes 1986).
Both the Denver Mediation Project of the early 1980s and a study conducted
in Toronto found mediation to be successful in keeping divorcing families
out of court. The Toronto study compared couples that mediated custody
with those that litigated without mediation; only 10% of mediated couples
returned to the courtroom after 2 years with problems related to custody
or visitation, whereas 26% of the non-mediated couples were back in court
within 2 years (Herman 1990). These studies of divorcing couples did not
focus exclusively on "highconflict" divorce situations. Herman
(1990) challenges the suitability of mediation in some custody disputes.
He asserts that the assumption that mediation will deter the bitterness,
disappointment, and anger of divorcing couples and lead them toward cooperation,
understanding, and tolerance has not been documented. "Even a highly
skilled mediator cannot compensate for the sharp differences in sophistication
and power that often exist between divorcing spouses" (p. 56). The
issue of mandatory mediation of child custody cases has some outspoken
critics. Carol Bruch, professor of family law at the University of California
at Davis, publicly testified before the New York state legislature about
her concerns that children are not best represented in mediation and women
are often at a distinct disadvantage. She observes that there is no research
evidence to support a claim that children whose parents mediate custody
settlements do better than children of litigating parents. Furthermore,
she points to her own experience with family law attorneys and mediators
to support her assertion that the husband and his views are accorded more
respect than the wife and her views (Herman 1990). These conflicting viewpoints
with regard to the pros and cons of mediation in child custody disputes
indicate a need for additional research.
PAS AND CUSTODY DISPUTES
The foregoing section reviewed the historical context of mediation in
child custody disputes and some of the research findings, both pro and
con, relative to the suitability of mediation in custody cases. There
are concerns that mediation may not work to the advantage of everyone
concerned in all cases of contested custody. "In most divorce cases
where there is animosity and conflict between the parents, there is some
degree of brainwashing and programming (of children)" (Clawar and
Rivlin 1991, 9). This brainwashing and programming may be relatively mild
or it may be quite severe. It may be conscious or unconscious on the part
of the parent(s). The parent's conscious or unconscious disparaging of
the separated spouse often leads to the phenomenon of PAS. PAS refers
to a disturbance in which children are preoccupied with viewing one parent
as all good and the other parent as all bad. The bad parent is hated and
verbally maligned, whereas the good parent is loved and idealized. Another
hallmark of PAS is the false charging of child abuse, which comes about
when one parent is intent upon driving away the other parent (Carper,
et al. 1995). Cases in which PAS is suspected require a diagnosis from
a mental health expert prior to being referred for mediation. Forensic
psychologist Dr. Richard Gardner originated the term PAS in the mid-1980s;
however, the phenomenon was described in an earlier work by Wallerstein
and Kelly (1980). They characterize an "alignment with one parent"
that is a "divorce-specific relationship that occurs when a parent
and one or more children join in a vigourous attack on the other parent"
(p. 77). In parental alienation, one parent who has previously had a good
relationship with the child becomes the object of hate and degradation
by the child due to conscious or unconscious brainwashing by the other
parent. Gardner (1992) claims that between 80% and 90% of all custody
cases exhibit some form of PAS from mild to moderate to severe symptoms.
This claim has not been supported by research, and many experts in the
field feel it is an exaggeration of the proportions of the problem. Gardner,
however, includes cases that he feels are relatively mild; these very
mild cases will improve as soon as the custody decision has been made,
according to Gardner. The issue of concern for mediators and court officials
is that they may have difficulty recognizing PAS and could easily assume
the "rejected" parent is indeed a poor parent and merits the
child's rejection when in fact researchers have shown the opposite is
true.
Manifestations of PAS in children consist of eight elements described
by Gardner (1992) (see Table 1).
Common Characteristics of Children With Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)
- PAS Trait
- Description of Behavior
- A campaign of denigration
- The child is obsessed with hatred of a parent. This denigration by
the child often has the quality of a litany.
- Weak, frivolous, or absurd rationalizations for the deprecation
- The child provides irrational and often ludicrous justifications for
not wanting to be near the hated parent.
- Lack of ambivalence
- All human relationships, including parent-child relationships, are
ambivalent. In PAS, the children have no mixedfeelings.
- The hated parent is all bad, and the loved parent is all good.
- The "independent thinker" phenomenon Many children proudly
state that their decision to reject the other parent is completely their
own; they deny any contribution by the custodial parent.
- Reflexive support of the loved parent in parental conflict
- Commonly, the children will accept as 100% valid the allegations of
the loved parent against the hated one, even after seeing evidence that
the loved parent was lying.
- Absence of guilt
- The child shows total disregard for the hated parent's feelings.
- The presence of borrowed scenarios
- There is a rehearsed quality to the scenarios, and they often use
language or phrases that are not commonly used by the child.
- Spread of the animosity to the extended family of the hated parent
The child rejects the network of relatives that previously provided numerous
and important psychological gratifications.Walsh and Bone (1997) refer
to parents as the "alienating parent" and the "target parent."
Another terminology, used by Johnston and Roseby (1997), is "aligned
parent" and "rejected parent." Typically, the aligned parent
has an agenda for turning the child against the other parent. The motive
may include revenge, guilt, fear of loss of the child or loss of the role
of primary parent, or the desire to have control or ownership over the
child. The aligned parent may be jealous of the other parent, or desire
to obtain leverage in the divorce settlement relative to property distribution,
child support, or alimony. It may be that the aligned parent suffers from
a past history of abandonment, alienation, physical or sexual abuse, or
even loss of identity (Walsh and Bone 1997). These motives lead him or
her to program the child to deny love for, or even deny the existence
of, the target parent.
Johnston and Roseby (1997) offer a more sympathetic portrayal, describing
the aligned parent as one who feels rejected, sad, and afraid of being
alone as a result of an unwanted divorce. "Consequently these vulnerable
people can become acutely or chronically distressed . . . and turn to
their children for nurturance and companionship, as allies against the
world and salve for their wounded self-esteem" (p. 198). He or she
may project all the blame onto the divorcing spouse and view him or her
as an incompetent parent. These parents feel self-righteous and compelled
to protect their children from the other parent.
The rejected parent becomes the victim of false allegations and may feel
frustrated and bewildered over the changes in the childs's behavior. Although
the allegations are grossly distorted, perhaps to the point of being obviously
fabricated, nevertheless the child and the aligned parent appear to deeply
believe them (Walsh and Bone 1997). Most PAS researchers have described
the rejected parents as passive victims of the other parents' vengeful
rage; Johnston and Roseby (1997) depart from this view and characterize
rejected parents as "often rather inept and unempathic with their
youngsters" (p. 199). Based on their observations, the rejected parent
may contribute to the continued alienation by a combination of counter-hostility
and dogged pursuit of the child with telephone calls, letters, and appearances
at the child's activities. The argument that a rejected parent should
not pursue the relationship may be in contradiction to conclusions made
by Clawar and Rivlin (1991) in their 12-year study of 700 PAS cases. They
concluded that it may prolong the alienation if a rejected parent loses
contact. The longer there is little or no contact between a parent and
a child, the more difficult the impact will be to overcome.
In their study of 16 PAS cases, Dunne and Hedrick (1994) found that PAS
does not necessarily signify dysfunction in either the rejected parent
or in the relationship between the child and rejected parent. Instead,
they argue that PAS appears to be attributable to the pathology of the
aligned parent and the unhealthy relationship between the aligned parent
and the child. All of the aligned parents in their study experienced intense
feelings of dysphoria, which were blamed on the former spouse; in addition,
the aligned parents predominantly experienced intense narcissistic injuries.
Clawar and Rivlin (1991) determined that brainwashing and programming
are intensified the more the rejected parent succeeds in life after the
separation (financial success, new and happy relationships, etc.).
The child is the most seriously affected victim of PAS. In her study of
self-concept of children of divorce, Stoner-Moskowitz (1998) concluded
that when the relationship with the rejected parent is abruptly halted,
the child's emotional development is stunted. The aligned parent's programming
creates confusion in the child as a result of internalizing distorted
beliefs and perceptions. In an extensive longitudinal study, 40% of the
children developed self-hatred and guilt because they were used as an
ally in the war against the rejected parent (Clawar and Rivlin 1991).
Often, the family has been torn by extremely divergent parenting styles
and perhaps a history of parental conflict. Beneath their anger and challenging
behavior is a pathetic longing for the rejected parent. "The children
want to be rescued from their intolerable dilemma" (Johnston and
Roseby 1997, 199).
ISSUES IN MEDIATOR QUALIFICATIONS FOR PAS CASES
When these types of cases are referred to mandatory court mediation, the
scenarios can be quite difficult for a mediator to sort out. The child
and aligned parent will appear to have a very close and loving bond, whereas
the other parent (unknowingly) is accused of a long list of horrifying
behaviors, which often includes quite credible, although fabricated and
false, accusations of child abuse (Gardner 1992).
There are several issues of mediator competence that need to be examined.
First, the question of detection of PAS presents itself as a dilemma for
mediators who are not trained in mental health diagnostic procedures.
Second, once PAS is suspected, detected, or diagnosed, should mediation
proceed and, if so, under what circumstances? The education, training,
and skills of the mediator obviously come into play when dealing with
the highly deceptive and manipulative tactics of parents who have succeeded
in programming their children. Mediators need training to understand and
recognize the underlying motives for a parent's refusal to promote accessibility
between the child and the other parent. Some motives could be an avenging
spouse who wants to punish or get even with the spouse who left him or
her; the narcissist who regards custody as a way to prove his or her self-worth
to the world after a failed marriage; or a lonely parent who seeks to
control the children for fear of losing them, or from a need for emotional
support from the children (Warshack 1992).
When divorcing couples voluntarily participate in mediation, there may
be an assumption of their willingness to cooperate on a settlement for
everyone's best interests. It may be that PAS families come to mediation
not voluntarily but rather as part of a court-ordered or mandatory mediation
process. Unfortunately, if one of the parents is unreasonable or uncooperative,
the mediation effort can easily be sabotaged (Turkat 1994).
There is a need for training to teach mediators how to detect and deal
with PAS families; again, there is no research to date indicating that
family mediators are trained in PAS. A thorough literature review for
this article showed no such training procedures reported at the time of
this writing, although there are several researchers who call for training
to help all family intervenors deal effectively with brainwashing, programming,
and alienation tactics by separated parents (Cartwright 1993; Clawar and
Rivlin 1991; Dunne and Hedrick 1994; Gardner 1992; Hysjulien, Wood, and
Benjamin 1994; Lund 1995; Turkat 1994; Walsh and Bone 1997). In their
1994 review of methods for child custody evaluation used in litigation
and alternate dispute resolution, Hysjulien, Wood, and Benjamin (1994,
485) concluded that models for training competent evaluators or for educating
attorneys and the judiciary about custody evaluation issues are lacking.
ETHICAL ISSUES FOR MEDIATORS DEALING WITH PAS
It is well documented in the literature on mediation that many perceive
a successful mediation as one that produces an agreement (Umbreit 1995).
Couple this success indicator with a growing trend for courts to encourage
joint legal custody, and a mediator who is not aware of PAS could inadvertently
cause negative consequences by attempting an agreement for joint custody.
Joint or shared custody normally requires a very high degree of parental
cooperation. When an inflexible parent encourages the child to have nothing
to do with the other parent, he or she may not be capable of such cooperation.
Research has shown that the best predictor that children will adjust well
to their parents' divorce is a low level of parental conflict (Regehr
1994). Unfortunately, joint custody in cases of parental alienation may
enhance parent conflict, making the situation worse for the children.
There are varying degrees of severity of PAS, and in severe cases the
PAS dynamic may be so toxic that a relationship with both parents may
not be possible, nor will it be in the child's best interests (Dunne and
Hedrick 1994).
Mediators and other professionals who work with the divorcing population
need to be aware of the symptoms of PAS and the difficulties that these
cases present. A failure to properly identify and intervene in the early
stages of PAS cases may result in the aligned parent being given professional
support, thus reinforcing the child's need to maintain or expand complaints
about the rejected parent (Dunne and Hedrick 1994). Saposnek (1998) recommends
that mediators in these cases first determine the extent of alienation,
putting the child on a continuum of (1) equal attachment, (2) affinity
with one parent, (3) alignment with one parent, and (4) alienated from
one parent. The continuum was obtained from training materials for seminars
on parental alienation developed by Joan B. Kelly (Figure 1). For children
who are pathologically alienated, an intensive therapeutic approach is
necessary; without it, efforts at mediation are likely to fail (Saposnek
1998). Gardner (1992) suggests that professionals need to understand the
therapeutic interventions necessary to treat and alleviate symptoms of
PAS before any custody or visitation arrangement can succeed. PAS should
be assessed from the perspective of how much the programming process is
influencing the child, not on the basis of the aligned parent's attempts
to program (Gardner 1998).
Another major ethical dilemma for a neutral mediator is how to deal with
the dishonesty, deception, and unwillingness to cooperate on the part
of an aligned parent. These parents can be very skillful at convincing
the mediator of their sincerity and create a bias that could be harmful
for the rejected parent and the child. Any agreement produced without
mental health intervention for the family may only serve to prolong the
PAS. In their study of over 700 cases of children who were brainwashed
and/or programmed by one parent to hate the other parent, Clawar and Rivlin
(1991) conclude that most parents who brainwashed or programmed their
children extensively were "poor candidates for re-education and counseling.
They were largely 'other-blamers' and took no responsibility for their
damaging influence on their child" (p. 153).
Thus, mediators have several ethical dilemmas to resolve. Although we
know that mediators strive to maintain impartiality and neutrality, many
practitioners believe that it is impossible to attain complete impartiality,
neutrality, or lack of bias when working with people (Taylor 1997). Regehr
(1994) points out that the bias of mediators appears to have a large impact
on the decisions reached by parents. Therefore, mediators need to face
some tough questions: Who do they believe--the skillful and apparently
sincere parent who has the love of the children or the parent who has
been rejected by the children for a number of very convincing reasons?
What should be done about the obvious power imbalance favoring the aligned
parent? After all, the aligned parent has the children, they are well
bonded and close to one another, so the court may favor leaving the children
in that home when an understanding of PAS is lacking, which is often the
case. How does the mediator build trust with a party who is intent on
deception and manipulation? Walsh and Bone (1997) warn: "Make no
mistake about it; individuals with PAS will and do lie. They leave out
. . . pertinent details or they maneuver the facts in such a manner to
create an entirely false impression" (p. 94). A study of the characteristics
of children who refuse postdivorce visits revealed that the custodial
parents of the refusers often exhibited psychopathology (Racusin 1994).
Turkat's (1994) study on visitation interference highlights the cooperation
issue. "A parent who has continually interfered with visitation may
state . . . that he or she will comply with the nonresidential parent's
visitation request. Immediately following the hearing, the custodial parent
returns to the visitation interference pattern, knowing that months may
go by before a return to court" (p. 741).
WHEN IS MEDIATION NOT APPROPRIATE IN CUSTODY CASES?
Mediation is an informal, but structured process in which one or more
impartial third parties assist disputants in talking about the conflict
and in negotiating a resolution to it that addresses the needs and interests
of the parties. Mediators do not impose a settlement and participation
in the process is usually voluntary. (Umbreit 1995, 24)
By definition, mediation is a voluntary process in which no one is compelled
to participate or to reach an agreement. A notable exception to voluntary
participation is mediation that is mandatory in many states' judicial
systems. The question is raised whether it is incongruent to require unwilling
parties to participate in a process that is designed to be cooperative,
interactive, and participatory. In a review of existing literature on
mediation, it was concluded that there is a need for empirically sound
methods for discriminating between couples who are ready for mediation
and those who are not (Hysjulien, Wood, and Benjamin 1994).
Mediation should perhaps be bypassed in cases with severe PAS symptoms.
Cartwright (1993) states that whereas negotiation is often a good solution
in other forms of litigation, it tends not to be effective in cases of
PAS. He asserts that the lack of a swift, clear, forceful judgement is
often perceived by the alienator as denoting approval of the alienating
behavior. This tends to reinforce the behavior and renders a great disservice
to both the child and the petitioning parent. . . . Courts must not fall
victim to the alienator's scheme of stalling for time in order to continue
the program of vilification. (p. 211)
Palmer (1988) also recognizes the duty of judges to take a stronger stand
with regard to aligned parents who try to alienate their children from
the other parent.
Issues of abuse and violence are prevalent in custody disputes. It has
been argued that mediation may not be appropriate for couples who have
experienced domestic violence because it may place women and children
at risk for ongoing intimidation (Hysjulien, Wood, and Benjamin 1994).
The mediation process can and has allowed an abusive spouse to maintain
control and domination with the sanction of the courts (Geffner and Pagelow
1990). A number of states now recognize the paradox of mediating in abusive
relationships, and mediation is waived where parties allege domestic violence
or child abuse (Bruch 1988 and Sun and Thomas 1987 [cited in Geffner and
Pagelow 1990]). Although PAS has not been formally linked with domestic
violence or spouse abuse cases, the issues of control, domination, and
emotional abuse are present in both types of cases. PAS and child brainwashing
are forms of child abuse (Clawar and Rivlin 1991; Gardner 1992; Herman
1990; Walsh and Bone 1997) and, as such, could fall under the same mediation
precautions as other types of cases that exhibit violence and abuse.
One of the major strategies for protecting domestic violence cases from
the limitations of mediation is to use a premediation screening process.
Premediation screening is highly recommended by many practitioners in
the field to determine which cases can be mediated and which cases are
not suitable for mediation (Girdner 1990; Perry 1994; Chance and Gerencser
1996; Pearson 1997; Salem and Milne 1995; Thoennes, Salem, and Pearson
1994). Such a model could be adapted for PAS cases. Those cases that are
severe may need the attention of the court immediately rather than delay
the case waiting for a mediation process that is not likely to resolve
the issue.
A MEDIATION MODEL FOR SUSPECTED PAS FAMILIES
The question remains about whether mediation is an appropriate form of
intervention in cases of PAS. Pearson and Thoennes (1986) contend that
mediation will not transform hostile couples into cooperative ones and
will not eliminate future conflict, but it is perceived to be a less damaging
intervention than court. Murray (1999) agrees that "children of high-conflict
divorce may benefit from the potentially harmful effects of the adversarial
approach" (p. 94). Lund (1995, 315) believes that it is important
to lower the overt conflict in PAS cases so that the children are not
drawn into the parents' conflicts. A mediator may be successful in helping
inflexible custodial parents respond to changes in visitation schedules
and other situations that require cooperative interaction between the
parents.
Incorporating the issues raised in this article, a mediation model designed
to intervene in custody disputes where PAS is suspected must address four
areas of concern (Figure 2). The first area is the need for mental health
expertise both to diagnose the underlying motives and extent of alienation
and to prescribe appropriate therapeutic interventions prior to any agreement
or decision on custody and visitation. Second, the mediation process would
need the assurance that the court will take swift, clear judicial action
when necessary to discourage tactics of stalling and deception by the
aligned parent. The third component needs to balance the power discrepancy
felt particularly by the rejected parent who has been isolated from the
child's life and love. The last and very critical element of a mediation
model is a mechanism to manage the manipulative and deceptive behavior
exhibited by the aligned parent, as well as an ongoing process to monitor
cooperation with court orders or agreed-upon steps in the mediation process.
An additional critical element, which needs to precede the actual mediation
process, is the determination of which PAS families are "ripe"
for mediation. It is very possible that in mild to moderate cases of PAS,
mediation could be effective for achieving a number of goals to help conflicted
parents. However, in severe cases, the research cited herein indicates
that negotiating with an aligned parent who exhibits serious psychopathology
would be futile. Premediation screening could be used to determine which
cases are suitable for mediation, which is also a recommendation for mediation
of domestic violence cases advanced by a number of practitioners (Girdner
1990; Perry 1994; Chance and Gerencser 1996; Pearson 1997; Salem and Milne
1995; Thoennes, Salem, and Pearson 1994).
Intervention models that may be useful for PAS cases have been developed
and proposed by various researchers. Four such models are referenced in
this review, and selected elements from these models support the major
areas of concern outlined above. The mediation models are (1) the American
Association for Mediated Divorce (AAMD) (Herman 1990), (2) the Stepwise
Mediation Process for Psychiatric Family Mediation and Evaluation Clinic
at the University of Kentucky Medical Center (Miller and Veltkamp 1987),
(3) a three-phase system of child custody dispute resolution proposed
by Gardner (1992), and (4) the Remedial Plan described by Michael Walsh,
a certified family lawyer, mediator, and arbitrator, and J. Michael Bone,
a psychotherapist and certified family law mediator (Walsh and Bone 1997).
In the AAMD process, couples are first screened to determine their suitability
for mediation, and their motivation and ability to negotiate with each
other are assessed. Couples that seem appropriate and are willing to enter
into the process sign a premediation agreement and begin sessions. Co-mediators
are suggested by the AAMD (Herman 1990, 48). The concept of comediators
representing each gender, and complementing one another's expertise in
mental health, legal background, and mediation skills, fits very well
with the criteria established in this article for a useful mediation model.
NEED FOR EXPERTISE IN MENTAL HEALTH
The attachment/alienation continuum model (Figure 1) would be an excellent
tool to determine the extensiveness of the child's alienation from the
noncustodial parent. After that determination is made, Gardner's (1992,
313) concept of mediation could be initiated. He recommends that training
programs be set up to ensure that only qualified mediators will be used.
He envisions court-designated mental health clinics that would provide
mediation services at a fee commensurate with the parents' financial situation.
Implicit in the stepwise mediation process is the fact that the process
is conducted by professionals trained in psychiatry at the Child Psychiatry
Clinic of the University of Kentucky Medical Center. In the stepwise model,
it is first determined if reconciliation or mediation is possible. When
mediation proves unsuccessful, there is a shift toward (psychiatric) evaluation
(Miller and Veltkamp 1987). Warshack (1992, 221) also recommends that
a professional with a background in child psychology would be preferable
to an attorney-mediator in disputes involving children because such a
mediator could better evaluate the children's needs. Johnston and Roseby
(1997) caution that children who have witnessed family violence may need
to be treated for posttraumatic stress syndrome before relationship rebuilding
can be expected to succeed. A well-developed premediation screening process
to identify which cases require interventions prior to mediation could
reduce the need for mediators to be highly skilled in child evaluative
procedures.
NEED FOR SWIFT, CLEAR JUDICIAL ACTION
Palmer (1988) and Walsh and Bone (1997) argue that successful intervention
of PAS requires coordination by the court and all members of the legal
and mental health community. The court-appointed psychologist initially
identifies the causation factors and determines (1) the motives of all
family members, (2) the defense functions of PAS in the family, and (3)
the specific techniques and patterns involved. When the psychological
evaluation is completed, it is forwarded to the court. At that point,
the parents can attempt to negotiate a plan. If the conflict continues,
the court must quickly intervene and use its authority (Walsh and Bone
1997).
Gardner (1992, 315) also recognizes the need for court intervention if
mediation breaks down. Step two of his three-phase system proposes an
arbitration panel consisting of two mental health professionals and one
attorney who are empowered to subpoena evidence and interview witnesses.
The arbitration panel would work within the court structure. Ideally,
the decision of the arbitrators would be timely and clear and have the
quality of a binding legal decision. It is certainly likely that arbitration
would result in a more expedient decision than court litigation. Gardner's
recommended process, however, could be very expensive for either parents
or taxpayers.
POWER IMBALANCE FAVORING ALIGNED PARENT
In PAS, the aligned parents seem to have power tipped in their favor.
The children profess love for them and a desire to live with them. The
court and legal and mental health professionals may initially be swayed
by the child's stated preference, particularly if he or she is an older
and articulate child. After all, PAS is not widely recognized; there are
relatively few individuals with sufficient expertise to diagnose PAS in
the early stages. As Walsh and Bone (1997) point out, many therapists
shy away from making a PAS diagnosis for fear of being wrong. Clawar and
Rivlin (1991) agree, stating that many professionals know it exists but
are frustrated with detecting it, objectifying it, and deciding what is
best to do for the parents and children.
In its purest form, mediation is expected to be a neutral, impartial,
and non-biased process; however, scholars and practitioners alike recognize
that the mediator will have subjectivity and that subjectivity can influence
the decision of the parents (Regehr 1994; Taylor 1997). To compensate
for a natural tendency to favor the aligned parent, mediators must be
well trained in detection, causation, underlying motives, and common patterns
of deception that may be employed by the family members (including the
children). Gardner (1992, 322) recommends that the mediators be trained
in mental health, family law, and mediation skills. He believes training
in intensive custody evaluations is also necessary. In addition, the natural
gender difference can be addressed by using co-mediators of each gender.
DEALING WITH MANIPULATION, DECEPTION, AND UNCOOPERATIVENESS
The co-mediation team process advocated by the AAMD would consist of an
impartial lawyer and an impartial mental health professional meeting with
the divorcing couple. The model also uses a process to screen couples
prior to mediation, as well as the premediation agreement mentioned earlier.
The couple understand that they are working toward a three-part agreement:
(1) part one reaffirms the need for both parents to be actively involved
with their children after the divorce and the need for mutual cooperation
toward this goal, (2) in part two, both parents agree how to share the
duties of parenting and how to cooperate when decisions are made, (3)
part three includes a foundation for agreement about financial issues
and provides for future mediation should problems arise (Herman 1990,
48). Parties who cannot agree to this type of openness and cooperation
would be screened out to bypass the option of mediating an agreement.
Additional provisions or ground rules could be addressed up front that
specify unacceptable behaviors such as deceptions, fabrication, accusations,
allegations, and the like. If the court is already in possession of a
psychological evaluation that identifies PAS, the aligned parent may recognize
that he or she needs to try to negotiate rather than stall. If the aligned
parent is unwilling or incapable of cooperating, he or she may lose custody
until he or she is emotionally fit to cooperate with the other parent.
Although switching custody may seem like an unwise decision, it is the
only recourse proven by various researchers to reverse the damaged relationship
between the child and target parent in severe cases of parental alienation
(Gardner 1992; Clawar and Rivlin 1991; Dunne and Hedrick 1994). The court
must take the swift and forceful action necessary.
RECOMMENDATIONS FOR PAS MEDIATORS
Some of the implicit assumptions of this article may lead the reader to
assume that mediators are expected to be highly directive in leading parents
to a custody decision. The role of the mediator is to honor self-determination,
but it is common for parents in protracted disputes to be emotionally
and financially drained and ready to settle for almost any reasonable
suggestion made. For this and the reasons outlined in this article, mediating
cases in which there is severe parental alienation is usually inappropriate.
Unsuccessful mediation may prolong emotional damage to the family by delaying
the kinds of intervention and treatment necessary to alleviate brainwashing
and programming of the children. If PAS symptoms are present in even one
half of Gardner's (1992) estimate of 80% of custody cases, all family
mediators dealing with custody cases need a thorough understanding of
the challenges prevalent in PAS families.
In their 12-year research study of 700 to 1,000 cases of programmed and
brainwashed children, which is published by the Family Law Section of
the American Bar Association, Clawar and Rivlin (1991, 163-72) conclude
that the legal system in most states is not currently adequate to protect
children from this form of abuse. They also determined that 80% of the
children wanted the brainwashing detected and terminated, and that there
was often a substantial difference between a child's expressed opinion
and his or her real desires, needs, and behaviors.
An intervention model is needed that is appropriate to the capacity of
the aligned parent to recognize and abstain from his or her programming
tactics, which may be unconscious. A screening process could be used to
determine which families are suitable for mediation and which cases require
mental health intervention before parties can negotiate. Co-mediators
need knowledge and skills that include mental health expertise, an understanding
of child custody evaluation techniques, familiarity with the legal system,
and communication/facilitation skills that promote building trust and
cooperation between disputing parties. Additional skill development techniques
are recommended to help professionals (1) detect PAS and methods to objectify
it, (2) determine the extent of the psychological and emotional damage
done, and (3) determine how to develop an appropriate remedial plan.
With regard to the question of whether PAS cases can be mediated, Ramona
Buck, director of mediation services for the Seventh Judicial Circuit
of Maryland, advises:
Mediating cases in which parental alienation syndrome is present is usually
inappropriate. For one thing, mediating such cases may provide a platform
for the accusing parent to continue to espouse his/her hurtful views which
causes more pain to the other parent. Secondly, since one parent is framing
the other parent as a villain, it is most unlikely that any agreement
can be reached. Thirdly, since one parent is, in a sense, psychologically
imbalanced, such a psychological problem in one parent is usually an indicator
that a case is not appropriate for mediation.
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Author's Note:
This article was selected as the winning entry in the 1998 Student Essay
Contest of the American Bar Association Section on Dispute Resolution.
The author appreciates the review and comments made by the following practitioners:
Sean Byrne, John Lande, Ramona Buck, Marcia Abbo, Loree Cook-Daniels,
and Susan H. Shearouse.
Anita Vestal is a doctoral student in dispute resolution at Nova Southeastern
University. She has been recognized by the American Bar Association and
the Association of Broward County Mediators for essays on the topic of
parental alienation and mediation. She is the principal investigator of
the PEACE Project, a research study on conflict resolution strategies
for preschool children that is funded by the Administration for Children,
Youth, and Families.
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